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Morning, World!

December 6, 2008
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I open my eyes to see the disarranged pile of books lying upon each other as dead bodies on the warground. The bedsheets look dusty. Clothes peep out of the handbag with lost hope. I am yet to unpack my bag. Its been days; or more still. The roof’s whitewash is no more white. A spider moves freely across. The roof looks naked strewn here and there with a dash of spider web. Sun gets reflected through the ventilator exposing beams of more dust. It is long since i felt the urge, the calling to clean my place. It now seems to reflect my self and i feel lazy enough to erase it. The cell phone charger hangs limp from the socket. Lifeless. I close my eyes.

Thoughts churn my mind. Apparently everything’s fine in my life. A good job. Girlfriend. Parents stay away in other town. I stay alone in my place in the city. Recently been to US on business trips and made reasonably sufficient money. Paying off my EMIs with ease too. But the void within. What will explain that? The heaviness in the head. How will I explain that? Everyone’s good to me. Everyone’s playing their role good. There’s mother calling each day to talk. There’s my girl who is exceptionally good. Manager at the workplace is happy too. No complaints. Yet! One after another each flash on my mind’s eye for a moment and then move away. Its the dark room and the projector is whirring away its life to throw light on the few pieces of life on my mind’s screen. Still images. I can watch them without emotion. I open my eyes.

The blades of the fan are dirty. I bring my bedsheet to my nose inadvertently. But I keep straring at the fan how mechanically it seems to shave the roof’s surface. The pages of the half read novel flutter complainingly by my earside. I hug the bolster pillow in defence. It feels hard. The ‘azaan’ from the nearby mosque brings me to the outer world. The loudspeaker oozes out somnolent gibberish. A baby crying. A scooter’s engine comes to life. The engine beating the vehicle’s chest with desperate phut-phuts with vehemence and urgency. The vegetable hawkers hoarsing their voices to sell their goods. Ladies haggling from roof-tops and balconies. The cock crows. I must wake up!

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